23 things i love about hanbin
1. your cheeks and cheekbones
2. your meaningful tattoos, specifically the nihilism and balloon and boat one
3. your rap style
4. the way one of your eyes
becomes bigger than the other when you laugh
5. when you try to look cool but end up looking like a dork
6. your stage presence
7. how you are able to translate everyday situations and write them into lyrics
8. how you literally made yourself a prodigy
9. the way your singing voice makes me feel warm and comfortable
10. how competitive you are
11. the way you kept of working hard despite your first loss
12. how you base some of your lyrics from films, books and plays
13. how you stood as the pillar for your members when they felt as if all hope was lost (your love for them)
14. the passion in your eyes
15. how you look so soft when you wear yellow sweaters, glasses, your teal vans and that band-aid
16. how you always say you hate yun but you're actually really clingy to him
17. how you instantly made me fall in love with you not by your looks but by
18. how you constantly better yourself
19. how you stay up late grinding because you're a perfectionist
20. how you don't care about awards but the art that goes into your music
21. how versatile you are
22. how photogenic you are
23. your love for your family, especially hanbyul
24. and definitely so much more...

23 birthday wishes for you
1. more sleep and resting time
2. good health condition
3. contentment
4. success
5. a girlfriend
6. another year filled with joy and happiness
7. another hit song
8. a rich solo album
9. strong friendships
10. you being proud of your songs
11. understand your lapses
12. more chances to better yourself
13. fresh beginnings
14. new learnings
15. to reach all your dreams and goals
16. abundance of fun and glory
17. wealth
18. three more comebacks
19. positivity
20. tons of food and rice soup
21. meet all your fans from around the globe
22. hope you go to place you've always wanted to go
23. love

23 of your quotes or lyrics that i always keep in mind

1. "to get people to support us, what we should do is to work harder."

2. "there's nothing is impossible in this world. if you're willing to do it, you'll succeed."

3. "God asked me if i'll regret, i answered why would I, without any hesitation."

4. "when there's an end, there also is another start."

5. "it's 3:30AM, i'm reaching my limit, people don't die of sleeping less."

6. "it would be better to be tough, better than being a mediocre."

7. "we should treasure even the smallest happiness, as you'll never know when will be the next."

8. "i wouldn't be flustered anymore if I were to go thru hell again."

9."take the good things as memories, the bad things as experiences."

10. "things don't always follow the way i want it, having too much desire will make your life hard, so i learn to laugh it off."

11. "if you enjoy doing something, it’s a hobby, but if you’re forced to do it, then it’s a task."

12. even if I have to do something that I don’t want to, I will think that ‘to do something i love someday, now is the time where even there’s something i don’t want to do, but still have to do it’. for the dream or goal, think of yourself in the future, i’ll work hard to do it."

13. "break free from the fence and walk freely."

14. "i don't think there's another chance, so i'm betting with my everything."

15. "we will become the best and someone that you'll feel proud of."

16. "bobby who came from the states, jinhwan from jeju, junhoe and donghyuk quitted school, how can I let these people lose?"

17. "even if it's just a moment of us feeling like the best, i'm really thankful."

18. "i go and speak with confidence that you are my pride."

19. "even if this moment is my last, i will keep singing."

20. "i can only show you that i am not like the others."

21. "i don't want to hurt people who trust me, so i have to meet their expectation."

22. "no limit's gonna touch the sky."

23. "i don't hate anyone. i learned that i shouldn't hate people.

• Spotify

for hanbin, a playlist (23 songs)

1. nine in the afternoon - p!atd
"back to the streets where we began
feeling as good as lovers can, you know
well, now we're feeling so good"

2. perfect - simple plan
"i try not to think about the pain I feel inside"

3. iris - the goo goo dolls
"and i don't want the world to see me
'cause i don't think that they'd understand"

4. use somebody - kings of leon
"off in the night, while you live it up, i'm off to sleep
waging wars to shape the poet and the beat"

5. you found me - the fray
"lost and insecure
you found me"

6. ain't it fun - paramore
"ain't it fun
living in the real world"

7. my house - pvris
"i feel you in these walls
you're a cold air creeping in"

8. freedom - iKON
"at my age, my potential is bursting
the unknown makes life fun"

9. never lose your flames - issues
"if you got the keys, then start the car and,
drive as far as you can.
if you got the blood then you got the heart to
give yourself a chance.
seems like we've been so scarred,
some people call it art.
i hope you make peace with your pain,
and never lose your flames."

10. outlines - all time low
"when being young starts getting old
a new pace saves face or so I’m told"

11. ever after - marianas trench
"you could be my perfect disaster, i could be your ever after"

12. young volcanoes - fall out boy
"we are wild, we are like young volcanoes"

13. this isn't goodbye, it's brb
"so we will drive as far as we know
we’ve got but one mile to go"

14. sweater weather - the neighborhood
"all I am is a man
i want the world in my hands"

15. i knew you were trouble - taylor swift (we came as romans cover)
"'cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
so shame on me now"

16. burn - ellie goulding (crown the empire cover)
"'cause we got the fire, and we're burning one hell of a something"

17. royals - lorde (youth in revolt cover)
"i've never seen a diamond in the flesh"

18. payphone - maroon 5, wiz khalifa
"if happy ever afters did exist
i would still be holding you like this"

19. young - the summer set
"because we're never gonna be as young as we are tonight"

20. sad song - we the kings, elena coats
"without you, i feel broke
like I'm half of a whole"

21. 90210 - blackbear, g-eazy
"so in love with the scene,
so in love with being seen"

22. roman holiday - halsey
"and our heart's gone
and the timing's never right
but for now let's get away
on a roman holiday"

23. youth - troye sivan
"a truth so loud you can't ignore, my youth is yours"

13 poems

"if humans only saw humans,
the way artist saw artworks." - jerico silvers

"s/he was a storm that complained about the rain." - atticus

"we are all broken, that's how the light gets in." - ernest hemingway

"sometimes there is nothing that needs to be written.
you are the poetry.
we are the words.
mankind is the story." - raquel franco

"hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches the soul,
and sings tune without words,
and never stops - at all." - emily dickinson

"from childhood's hour i have not been
as others were - i have not seen
as others saw - i could not bring
my passions from a common spring.
from the same source i have not taken
my sorrow, i have not awaken
my heart to joy at the same tone;
and all i lov'd - i lov'd alone." - edgar allan poe

"life wasn't something
we were supposed to be
good at, it's something
we're supposed to live through.
i am just finding this out." - r.m. broderick

"you are whatever a moon has always ment and whatever a sun will always sing." - e.e. cummings

"the great way has no gate;
there are a thousand paths to it.
if you pass though the barrier, you walk the universe alone." - muhammas nouman ali

"just like moons and like suns,
with the certainty of tides,
just like hopes springing high,
still i'll rise." - maya angelou

"every morning
starts a new page
in your story
make it a great one today." - doe zantamana

"yesterday i was clever, so i wanted to change the world.
today i am wise, so i am changing myself." - rumi

"don't grieve.
anything you lose,
comes round in another form." - rumi

my birthday message to you

happiest birthday hanbin! i remember writing my first birthday message for you. you were not even my bias so i was appalled by how my eyes grew wet as i wrote it. the amount of tears i’ve shed back then was too unfamiliar and it frightened me because i hated the feeling of not being able to comprehend things. but somehow,that was the moment i knew that you were far more than just a bias.

as you celebrate your birthday, i’m also celebrating my first 365 days with you. it’s not been long as compared to others who have been with you from the very beginning of your story. i did not experience win, nor m&m, nor your successful debut. these were all pivotal moments in your life that could’ve made me empathize with you more. to this day, i still regret not being able to witness the peculiar beauty in all your battles and how you ended up triumphant.

nevertheless, the past year was enough for me to configure the kind of person you are - someone remarkable and prodigious yet still real. yes, you have written and produced chart topping songs but the depth and meaning they hold is what makes the general public grow fond of it. this is what it think makes uncannily normal, hanbin. your success and achievements has never gotten in between you and your humility. your ability to take and understand everyday situations, and put them into paper is something i’ve been trying to learn. i can never bring myself to show a personal and intimate part of myself so seeing you piece together a puzzle of your thoughts and feelings and then narrate it to the world is bravery in its highest form.

you stood as the pillar of ikon when everything else was going downhill. and man, i could imagine how difficult it was to cope up with the new route fate has redirected you in. there were days where you fell short from being the “perfect” leader but the efforts you’ve exerted to reassure the members has never gone unnoticed. people often misunderstand you as a selfish person but everything you’ve done since you were seventeen, has been to benefit iKON. iKON has always been your top most priority. and i think there is a reason as to why your members has put you on such a tall pedestal. they respect you because they still see your compassion and tenderness despite the mask you once put on. many can see how much you cherish your members regardless of your denies. your love for them overflows.

that’s one of the many values that i acquired from you: to love and adore everyone surrounding me. as well as bring forth positive intensity to every task i got, and be adaptable and advance no matter the setbacks, to chase after my dreams withstanding the voices that disregard it, to always take the initiative to do more than what is required with me, to make a difference.

i have always labelled you as my ‘fallen angel’ for stepping into my life so unexpectedly yet still with great impact. your presence in my life, although abrupt and unforeseen, is something i never thought i’d give grave importance to yet here you are at the uppermost portion of my fragile heart. my fallen angel, you are the core to my complex system. though you may not the main lead to my lifetime story, i guarantee you that you will always be my second lead whose presence i would forever need, whose warmth and comfort i’ll always crave, and whose existence i will always admire. the days i’ve spent and will spend with you is something that i will really treasure, even more than my unhealthy collection of cheesy young adult novels and comic books. even as i build a personalized bridge for myself and grow old and leave my life as a stan behind, i will still be grateful for the beauty in all of this.